Anyone up for a "Shave 'em Song" sequel?

So many of you know I play guitar and like to write songs (not as many anymore since I'm kinda busy these days).  My favorite song I've written is called "Shave 'em Song....I didn't actually officially name it that, but I didn't name it anything else, and that's what I call it, so I guess that's the name it got inherited.  So I hate shaving.  I hate everything about it.  I always seem to cut myself and my skin is so sensitive that razor burn is inevitable.  It takes me forever and by the time I'm done shaving, the hot water is gone.  Nice.  I do have to admit that I love the way it feels after you shave...there's nothing like that feeling, it's just getting to that feeling that I have a problem with.  It's not that I want to be a hairy beast or anything, I just don't want to shave.
So looking at my options, I figured I wouldn't like waxing because I can't take the pain, and plus that would probably take even longer than shaving.  Recently at my mother-in-law's house I saw that she had a bottle of Nair in the closet and my curiosity peeked.  I asked her about it and apparently she loves it and get's silky smooth legs (I have to admit, she does have nice silky smooth legs) So, curious little me decided, what the heck?  Nothing could be worse than shaving, right?  Wrong.  Nair is worse than shaving.  For one thing the smell is God-awful.  It's like, well......I can't even explain it.  It burns your nostrils and reminds me of a hospital.  It also feels funny on my skin.  Since I have sensitive skin it probably wasn't the best choice because it is kind of harsh, and sort of burned.  Who wants to burn their hairs off?  Also, it didn't even work!  Seriously, I left it on for as long as they said...even a little longer just to make sure.  So I rinsed it all off, and alas, no silky smooth legs!  What the H-E-double hockey stick is that all about?  I had patches of hair and patches of semi-smooth leg.  Gross.  So I ended up having to just shave them all in the end anyway.
So I guess my point for this whole story (if you call it a point that is)  is that I think the next song that I write will be the sequel to the "Shave 'em Song."  It will be about my experience with this God-awful thing called Nair.   Coming to a bad and desperate coffee shop near you.