A Plethora of thoughts.

I often think to myself.  "Why don't I blog more?"  I love to write.  It's a good stress relief for me, and it helps me sort through the things that I'm thinking.  And then, mid through that peaceful thought, I get hit in the head by a hard baseball, realizing I'm smack dab in the crossfire of a mean game of catch between Grace and Gabe.  And I come to my senses.  Duh.
That's why I don't blog more.  Thing 1 and Thing 2.  And then there's the baby.
As moms, we are moms first.  Our kids are at the top of our list.  Taking over, unfortunately, sometimes who we were before kids.   I can't remember what I did before kids.  Seriously, what did we all do before kids?
Oh, wait.....I do remember....the hard baseball that hit me in the head just now must have jogged my memory.   I took naps.  I love naps, and would take them often.  I played guitar way more, and wrote lots of songs...songs that bared my soul and made me feel as though I could conquer the world with my clarity and life experiences.  I wrote in a journal every morning, writing anything and everything and feeling so good afterwords.  Feeling as though I had life figured out....or as much as I could in that moment.   I also had time to think before kids.  Lots of time, actually in retrospect.  I also wore way cuter clothes.  Why is that?  My wardrobe before kids was way more fashionable.  And smaller.  And brighter.  Interesting eh?  I'm lucky if I go out in public without breakfast plastered all over me from Max playing the, "I think it's fun to throw food at my mom" game.
David does the laundry, and can't stand my underwear.  Sorry for maybe being too personal....and scatterbrained, but I'm trying to make a point.  Before kids I actually had some nice underwear.  I actually still have those, but 10 years later, they're not so nice anymore.  David actually has to buy me nice underwear because I won't buy them for myself.  It's true.  Every once in a while, a favorite pair will go AWOL.  And I know exactly where to look because he always throws them in the laundry room garbage.  (It's not a secret anymore honey) A couple of times I picked them out and put them back in my drawer....which never lasted long, and soon would find them in the garbage again.  Sigh.

I'm realizing that this blog isn't very cohesive.  Which then made me laugh like a crazy person because since kids, my thoughts are never very cohesive anymore.  That's something I was better at too before kids.
In amidst of all of the realization of what I've lost since kids, I also have a list of things that I've gained. Besides 15 pounds, I've gained more patience and understanding.  Patience not only toward my kids, but other people in my life as well.  Patience for different kinds of situation whether stressful, overwhelming, or down right terrifying.  And understanding not only what I'm capable as a mother, but as my own person.  My kids bring me so much joy, and the amount of love that I have....

Well, just had to take a break and break up a fight...Grace and Gabe were literally piling driving each other and trying to claw each other's faces.  What was I saying before that? I lost my train of thought. Oh yes... how my kids bring me so much joy...

On another note, school started yay!  Grace and Gabe both get on the bus at 6:50, which gives me about an hour to myself before Max wakes up.  I actually get to drink hot coffee.  It's really the little things in life people.

On even another note, after Saturday David will (hopefully) be a Board Certified Nurse Anesthetist.  He takes his boards and maybe our crazy life will settle down a bit.  Or not.  In the past 28 months we've had a surprise baby, moved twice, bought a minivan, I've experienced single motherhood at it's worst, and learned why the divorce rate for this program is so high.  That was supposed to be funny.

On that note, signing off for now.  Until next time...which from my track record, won't be for another 6 months.  At least I'll have a lot to say by then.